Police officers: I am not a fan of police. I’m not a fan of government servants’ period but maybe I will attack them some other time. Here is what I love… I love how the mayor is on the news talking about “police man-power” and how we don’t have enough police to maintain the kind of safety we expect as tax payers. So the city doesn’t hire any more police and the police are too busy guarding the city from those adults who make left-hand turns on a red arrow. FUCK, there is no time to do actual police work.
Every day while driving to work I see that same douche bag sitting on the side of the road looking for that guy who has a led foot or a lame blinker so he can ruin that guys day. Heaven forbid you go find some crime to prevent. BUT I get it, I totally get it… see finding a criminal and putting him in jail which means we have to pay more taxes to keep him locked up while something small like a speeding ticket brings money into the system AND you meet your quota. So REALLY I should be thanking you for not making me pay extra taxes this year; you guys are doing the Lord’s work.
Just the other day I was watching “I survived” (it’s a show about real people who by all accounts should be dead but somehow lived)… well this story was about a cop who was bitten by a rattlesnake and lived to tell the tale. I never thought I could be so heartless until I found myself rooting for the snake venom. The cop lived and I started to cry because I hate when a story ends in sadness. MAYBE I’m a dick but I think the Lord hates cops too… I’ll ask him.
Sorry I kind got off on a tangent; let me see if I can right this ship and bring it on home. Of course not all cops are dicks, just 99%… in fact the only cops I do like are the police dogs, the slutty police woman on Halloween and Police Chief Wiggum. 
So next time I see a cop I’ll take my foot off the gas, keep my eyes forward, sweat like a Mississippi slave and hope to hell he doesn’t pull me over because my license plate light is out. So to all you fine fine police officers in the metroplex I salute you! Without you this rant would not have been possible.*No police officers were harmed during the writing of this blog*
No comments:
Post a Comment