Tuesday: Fashion

2010 Men’s Fashion Report!!

We are officially 19 days into 2010 and I can’t tell you the amount of mail I get daily asking me to review the trends for the New Year. Get ready baby birds, open wide because I’m going to puke in your mouth and you better eat it… LET’S GO!

Let’s start with hair; if you have hair then this is a couple of the looks coming to a grocery store, basketball court and gay bath house near you. The Fringe is in, whether you like long hair or short this cut is the best of both worlds. Long on top and short on the sides that’s what a man should look like. Sweeping that tussled hair to the side is SO 2009 but it still works!

In 2010 we are getting crazy with it… and adding a couple new ways to work your own personal catwalk. It’s all about texture this season. Give your hair some body and vary that length a little… so something different. Last year we rocked out that Adolf Hitler cut and this year it’s more like Julius Caesar. Use matte wax or some pomade and rake those fingers though that hair… come on you son’s abitches, get creative.

Another style is an old classic, take that hair and slick that mofo back. If it’s good enough for George Clooney then its good enough for your “$8 an hour earning ass.” I mean shit, he was batman and I think he’s dating some hot 18 year old girl. God Bless you George Clooney. And if you feel like changing that slicked back look up then give your hair a part on the side… the school boy look is back in vogue!

A style that never really went “out” of style is the military look so dust off those P coats, run a lint brush over those Class A’s and put a shine on those boots but whatever you do, leave the guns, frags and smoke at the house and whatever you do please (and I can’t stress this enough) please don’t start ethnic cleansing again… *wait until 2011, but you didn’t hear that from me*

Light layers over a beautiful color such as orange can really make an outfit pop. Italians love this look and has rocked it out for years. AND anyone who knows anything about Italian fashion knows Italy is the new Mecca. Don’t be afraid of color!

Work attire in today’s climate is changing but the classics are still… well classic. There are several ways to make a classic look trendy. One way is to replace those wing tips with a classic Converse or street shoe. Although classic is always a great idea trendy is 2010… fitted trousers, and a long coat is the way to go. Men’s coats are in style, very popular for autumn.

Accessories, Accessories, Accessories… learn to love all the additives that can complete your wardrobe. This Fossil Auto Skeleton is a steal and under $125! A versatile timepiece this watch will compliment any outfit.

Sometimes a bag can complete round out your outfit. Plus pants are getting so tight now a days where are you suppose to keep your lip gloss, I mean wallet? Not only is this a great storage item but a pleasant accessory. And I dare you to question a man’s sexuality if he’s wearing this bag.

Sometimes something as simple as an eye patch can make all the difference in the world. After the success of Pirates of the Caribbean we are starting to hear chatter around the campfire… swashbuckling is back with a brand new attitude.

… you know what, FUCK THIS.