Monday: JaMarcus Russell

The NFL season is officially over kids and I refuse to let this past season die… so let’s talk about the NFL for a bit mmmmk. Let’s start with one of my personal favorites, JaMarcus Russell.


JaMarcus Russell (born August 9, 1985 in Mobile, Alabama) is an American football quarterback who plays for the Oakland Raiders of the National Football League. He was drafted by the Raiders with the first overall pick of the 2007 NFL Draft.


Quick fact: Russell’s cousin is Marshawn Lynch of the Buffalo Bills.


Another quick fact: Russell has been fat all his life, I think. (This is Russell with Miley Cryus... God he hates clothes but LOVES the movie "Bolt.")


ANOTHER quick fact: JaMarcus’ (If I may call you JaMarcus) stats for 2009 look like this… 1287 yards passing, 3 touchdowns, 11 interceptions and was sacked 33 times.


You know Bruce Gradkowski stated 5 games for the Raiders and his stats were as follows… 1007 yards passing, 6 touchdowns, 3 interceptions and was sacked 11 times.

Look everyone, I am no genius… but even I can see that fat QB’s can’t succeed in the NFL. Daunte Culpepper is fat and he sucks and don’t get me started on that fat kid from University of Kentucky Jared Lorenzen.

Maybe JaMarcus should have his head in the game and not on eating candy…

But one thing that Daunte Culpepper and JaMarcus have in common beside their love of weight gain and love of sucking ass in the NFL is some serious love for fur. I think these two kids are brothers (no pun intended).

But if there is one SUPER bad move he has made so far in his career it’s buying that kick ass ice for his fat neck. I mean why save that money for when you are out of the NFL and sacking groceries at Skaggs Alpha Beta. But if you are dead set on spending your money on anything… why not help the African American race or maybe even Africa. I guess the black community will have to look for some other hero cause all the NFL, NBA and NHL starts are too busy putting that Caddy on 24’s!! Sorry kids… maybe next time.

I hope you are happy JaMarcus… Happy Black History Month!

Friday: Black History!

Black Inventor Thomas J Martin

Ok so when I searched for a picture of Thomas J Martin… I got this white boy, which may or may not be right. Enjoy!

Thomas J Martin, a Black inventor, was awarded a patent for the Fire Extinguisher on March 26, 1872. His invention is listed in the U. S. Patent Office in Washington, DC under patent number115,603. That is flippin awesome! I love to see an American man kick ass in the “making stuff” department. AND HE’S BLACK!

In 1813, British army captain George Manby created the first known portable fire extinguisher (Extincteur): a two-foot-tall copper cylinder that held 3 gallons of water and used compressed air as a propellant. One of the earliest extinguishers to use a chemical extinguishing agent, and not just water, was invented in 1849 by the Englishman William Henry Phillips, who patented his "fire annihilator" in England and the United States (US patent #7,269).

I wonder how Al Sharpton feels about that?

I knew it…

Thursday: Bloggie Style

It’s the first Thursday of Black History Month and I can’t think of another way to show my support for Nubian Queens but to show one hot piece of black ass. I am in love with her and if you aren’t in love with her then you sir are gay… and if you are gay then you probably like using penis for fun times… and if you like penis then you like semen… and if you like semen then you like black semen… and if you like black semen then you like black men… and so does Rihanna. So I will do the gay math, You+black men=Rihanna. So let’s hold hands (you faggot), rejoice and check out some pics of one fine chick:


You know I would never hit Rihanna… I take that back, I would hit it but I wouldn’t punch her without her permission. That being said… I would totally bite her though. Shame on you Chris Brown.

Wednesday: A Soft Rant...

You know what I don’t like… chicks with dicks, but never mind that right now. What I want to get into is something I rarely get into, tennis. And no, not guys tennis… I’m talking about the ladies. Well wait a minute, I’m talking about women’s tennis but I’m not sure this “woman” (and I use the term loosely) qualifies as a woman. I mean I guess if you are going to argue that she does have boobs and probably a vagina then sure she MIGHT qualify. In case you don’t know who I’m talking about then you are stupid so I’m just going to tell you. Serena Williams… there I said it.

She is a CHAMPION! She kicks some major ass when she is between the white lines… and the baseline… and the net… and the other couple lines on the… LOOK, YOU GET THE IDEA. Serena will eventually be the greatest tennis player in the whole wide United States and maybe the world. One time during a match in mid-volley she did the back spin. AMAZING.

Think about this… she is 28 years old and she is an ANIMAL! I mean she is literally an animal. What I think happened was a North American black bear fuck a football and the football had a kid and that kid grew up to be Arthur Ashe then he fucks Billie Jean King who gave birth to a kid and that kid grew up to be some guy named Richard but Richard fucked some lady named Oracene and as crazy as this is going to sound… she gave birth to a football (again). Well the football hatched and out of the leather and lace was born a middle linebacker named Serena Williams.

But watch out… Serena has a dark side (quack, quack). She has a bit of a temper. Serena has been known to attack in the middle of matches and without warning.

We have an exclusive picture of Serena attacking this poor white girl:

Why is Serena Williams so good at tennis? I have no clue but you can ask “why” to just almost anything…

Why doesn’t she have football skin?

Why does she look like a man?

Why is she naked in this picture?

Why do I have a picture of cheese on this blog?

It really doesn’t matter and I don’t know about you but I need to cleanse my pallet of all football ball beast lady let’s see what else is out there:

I just discovered something… Serena Williams is with a doubt a BAMF (Bad Ass Mo Fo) but give me a hot girl who can hold a tennis racket over Serena Williams any day. She might know how to win between the white lines… and the baseline… and the net… and the other couple lines on the…FUCK, you get it… but Serena will never know the combination to my underwear.

Ok snitches, I’m out I have a 1000 piece puzzle to put together and it’s not going to put itself together. I leave you with inspirational words from my mother, “You’re a pussy” but never mind that, what she also said was, “PEACE!”