One of my many, many gifts in life is the ability to bitch about any and everything. Give me any topic and I will bitch about it. Here are a couple off the top of my head:
Gays... I hate the fact that they love me so much; Money... Those sons-a-bitches in the Treasury department won't put my face on the 2 dollar bill. AIDS... Fuck AIDS; and porn... hmmm, that a good one but I think I got it. I would bitch about all those black guys stretching out our white women. Is nothing sacred, you guys even blast the back way and that's not cool.
So listen up you pasty bastards, on this Wednesday everyone here at the Kiss My Man Junk offices all agree... LOUISIANA you are on the top of my jerk list. Here are ten reasons why Louisiana blows panda cock:
1. Louisiana you stink! Go ahead, drive though that mold factory it fucking stinks. It smells like a large mouth bass' dirty cunt. I would like to say it's from all the stagnate water and shell fish but I would hate to blame the fish for being fish... however I do believe that smell is from you douchey Cajuns.
2. Louisiana, your cops eat shit. I've seen those ball bags camped out on the side of the road fucking with the vacationers passing through that swamp. What's the matter pigs... too busy working on your high blood pressure? Plus you guys hired Steven Seagal as a cop, at least you guys have a sense of humor. 
3. Louisiana, you are claiming Britney Spears... ha, enough said. She use to look awesome and now she looks like Richard Gere's Gerbil.
4. Louisiana you suck because you are all about shell fish. Crawfish are fine if you like your hands smelling like you just fisted a rhino's vagina. Shell fish are similar to pecans you work real hard and you don't get shit out of it... AND you have to eat like 10 lbs of that mud dwelling crustacean to get full.
6. Louisiana you are uneducated. You are #45 of the 50 states in education and if you have ever been through an drive-thru in Louisiana then you have been a witness to this retard-nation. Oh if you were wondering, Wyoming is #17...
7. Louisiana, your black people are from another world! I already have trouble understanding the "typical" black man and his "urban" ways and now I have to deal with urban Cajun black lingo with their crazy love of butchering the English language. Hey, fuck your backwards jargon...
9. Louisiana you are trying to piggy-back on Texas... and that sir is lame (ha, Lame... L). Stop being handicapped and walk on your own two legs. If you must lean on something, lean on Mississippi I fucking hate that state too.
10. My shitty ex-fiance... FUCK YOU WHORE
2. Louisiana, your cops eat shit. I've seen those ball bags camped out on the side of the road fucking with the vacationers passing through that swamp. What's the matter pigs... too busy working on your high blood pressure? Plus you guys hired Steven Seagal as a cop, at least you guys have a sense of humor.3. Louisiana, you are claiming Britney Spears... ha, enough said. She use to look awesome and now she looks like Richard Gere's Gerbil.4. Louisiana you suck because you are all about shell fish. Crawfish are fine if you like your hands smelling like you just fisted a rhino's vagina. Shell fish are similar to pecans you work real hard and you don't get shit out of it... AND you have to eat like 10 lbs of that mud dwelling crustacean to get full.5. Louisiana you are in the shape of an "L" which stands for loser (or Lacking or Lemming). Any way you look at it you will never be as cool as Wyoming and Wyoming is square.
6. Louisiana you are uneducated. You are #45 of the 50 states in education and if you have ever been through an drive-thru in Louisiana then you have been a witness to this retard-nation. Oh if you were wondering, Wyoming is #17...7. Louisiana, your black people are from another world! I already have trouble understanding the "typical" black man and his "urban" ways and now I have to deal with urban Cajun black lingo with their crazy love of butchering the English language. Hey, fuck your backwards jargon...8. Louisiana you suck because of New Orleans. Even God wants that city under water. The Lord almighty warned you with Hurricane Katrina but you didn't listen (Must be that low education in effect). So you chose to rebuild a city BELOW sea level. Well go ahead and kiss your asses goodbye when a hurricane claims your city... while I'm home eating and watching the news about the demise of New Orleans I will certainly feel for you but then after I beat off I will feel better and probably call it a night, clime into my warm bed and sleep worry free (in Wyoming).
9. Louisiana you are trying to piggy-back on Texas... and that sir is lame (ha, Lame... L). Stop being handicapped and walk on your own two legs. If you must lean on something, lean on Mississippi I fucking hate that state too.10. My shitty ex-fiance... FUCK YOU WHORE So State of Louisiana you are a jerk and watch out Mississippi you are officially on notice.
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