I might just talk about Corey Haim until the day the other Corey dies. It's not that I love death or I love hearing about the demise of the cast of Lost Boys but I'm not sure I understand suicide. Thank about this... Corey had a lot going for him. Let's count them down:
1. He is famous. I get it, he wasn't as famous as he would like to be but famous non the less.
2. He was 39... and he made about 39 movies. Not all of them good but fuck it, you are an actor. I have been in zero movies so according to his standards I should have killed myself at age 3.
3. He loved drugs. Who doesn't like to time travel??
4. Corey dated some pretty hot chicks... Victory Beckham, Nicole Eggert, Tiffany Shepis and Cindy Guyer.There is some mean talent on his list. SHIT, I can't even get a hand job from Debra in accounting and she is disgusting.
5. He won the Oscar for his role in "Dream a Little Dream"... I'm kidding, that movie sucked.
6. He was molested as a child... so that say. My parents didn't love me enough to stick anything in my butt.
7. They say he was broke. I can totally believe that one... drugs cause money and I hear he did alot of them.
8. He was Jewish or "Hillbilly Jew." It's just like regular Jews except you do everything without shoes on.
But I think I know what drove him over the edge. Forget the sexual abuse, the money, the fame, the hot ass... I think I know what the real cause was. Word around camp is that Corey went on a date with Daisy De La Hoya then 2 weeks later DEAD! She's a monster and if I had a date with her I would kill myself ASAP (or at least burn my junk off).
No comments:
Post a Comment