Thursday: Bloggie Style

It’s the first Thursday of Black History Month and I can’t think of another way to show my support for Nubian Queens but to show one hot piece of black ass. I am in love with her and if you aren’t in love with her then you sir are gay… and if you are gay then you probably like using penis for fun times… and if you like penis then you like semen… and if you like semen then you like black semen… and if you like black semen then you like black men… and so does Rihanna. So I will do the gay math, You+black men=Rihanna. So let’s hold hands (you faggot), rejoice and check out some pics of one fine chick:


You know I would never hit Rihanna… I take that back, I would hit it but I wouldn’t punch her without her permission. That being said… I would totally bite her though. Shame on you Chris Brown.

Wednesday: A Soft Rant...

You know what I don’t like… chicks with dicks, but never mind that right now. What I want to get into is something I rarely get into, tennis. And no, not guys tennis… I’m talking about the ladies. Well wait a minute, I’m talking about women’s tennis but I’m not sure this “woman” (and I use the term loosely) qualifies as a woman. I mean I guess if you are going to argue that she does have boobs and probably a vagina then sure she MIGHT qualify. In case you don’t know who I’m talking about then you are stupid so I’m just going to tell you. Serena Williams… there I said it.

She is a CHAMPION! She kicks some major ass when she is between the white lines… and the baseline… and the net… and the other couple lines on the… LOOK, YOU GET THE IDEA. Serena will eventually be the greatest tennis player in the whole wide United States and maybe the world. One time during a match in mid-volley she did the back spin. AMAZING.

Think about this… she is 28 years old and she is an ANIMAL! I mean she is literally an animal. What I think happened was a North American black bear fuck a football and the football had a kid and that kid grew up to be Arthur Ashe then he fucks Billie Jean King who gave birth to a kid and that kid grew up to be some guy named Richard but Richard fucked some lady named Oracene and as crazy as this is going to sound… she gave birth to a football (again). Well the football hatched and out of the leather and lace was born a middle linebacker named Serena Williams.

But watch out… Serena has a dark side (quack, quack). She has a bit of a temper. Serena has been known to attack in the middle of matches and without warning.

We have an exclusive picture of Serena attacking this poor white girl:

Why is Serena Williams so good at tennis? I have no clue but you can ask “why” to just almost anything…

Why doesn’t she have football skin?

Why does she look like a man?

Why is she naked in this picture?

Why do I have a picture of cheese on this blog?

It really doesn’t matter and I don’t know about you but I need to cleanse my pallet of all football ball beast lady let’s see what else is out there:

I just discovered something… Serena Williams is with a doubt a BAMF (Bad Ass Mo Fo) but give me a hot girl who can hold a tennis racket over Serena Williams any day. She might know how to win between the white lines… and the baseline… and the net… and the other couple lines on the…FUCK, you get it… but Serena will never know the combination to my underwear.

Ok snitches, I’m out I have a 1000 piece puzzle to put together and it’s not going to put itself together. I leave you with inspirational words from my mother, “You’re a pussy” but never mind that, what she also said was, “PEACE!”

Tuesday: ... Lost

Listen up bitches… Tonight is the premier and the final season of “Lost” so do us all a favor and watch. If you need a reason to watch well I will give you a couple reasons and they all have a Black History month undertone or overtone or not even a tone but there will be some black talk.

Marsha Thomason… she is a super hot England born actress who plays Naomi Dorrit, the leader of the group on a mission to capture Ben Linus and remove him from the island. She is the first to arrive on the island and tells the Oceanic survivors of the freighter Kahana. While she claims she is there to rescue Desmond Hume, her true mission is later revealed. Naomi dies of her wounds after Locke throws a knife into her back.

Wait! This just in… my sources tell me her character is dead. Well at least you can catch her on the TV show Las Vegas. Wait… my sources are telling me that the show was cancelled. Well I guess there is always syndication.

Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje is another Englishmen actor that is pretty kick ass. He plays a black guy named “Mr. Eko” and he is the "strong, silent type.

Wait! This just in… my sources tell me his character is dead. Well damn, and I thought it was kind of a refreshing change to see a black man playing a drug lord, you don’t see that every often. Well moving on…

Malcolm David Kelley is an AMERICAN (Fuck Yeah!) actor who plays Michael’s son Walt. You have got to love Walt, he seems like a good kid…

Wait! This just in… my sources tell me his character is dead. Well shit is the black smoke monster still alive??

The Island is home to a mysterious entity, consisting of a black mass accompanied by mechanical-like sounds and electrical activity within, dubbed the "Smoke Monster." It has been repeatedly described as a "security system" for the Island but who really knows.

So there you have it, tune in tonight to the only black thing alive on the island… the Black Smoke Monster. HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH

Monday: PRESIDENT!

Barack Hussein Obama II is the 44th and current President of the United States. He is the first African American to hold the office. Obama previously served as the junior United States Senator from Illinois, from January 2005 until he resigned after his election to the presidency in November 2008.

Obama is a graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law School, where he was the president of the Harvard Law Review. He was a community organizer in Chicago before earning his law degree. He worked as a civil rights attorney in Chicago and taught constitutional law at the University of Chicago Law School from 1992 to 2004.

Obama served three terms in the Illinois Senate from 1997 to 2004. Following an unsuccessful bid for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives in 2000, he ran for United States Senate in 2004. Several events brought him to national attention during the campaign, including his victory in the March 2004 Democratic primary election for the United States Senator from Illinois and his prime-time televised keynote address at the Democratic National Convention in July 2004. He won election to the U.S. Senate in November 2004.

Obama's presidential campaign began in February 2007, and after a close campaign in the 2008 Democratic Party presidential primaries against Hillary Rodham Clinton, he won his party's nomination. In the 2008 general election, he defeated Republican nominee John McCain and was inaugurated as president on January 20, 2009. Obama is also the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize laureate.

Blah, Blah, Blah... all these facts about the U.S. President are all well and good but what I want to know is where his spot is on the b-ball court. Maybe if he likes watching The Food Network as much as I do.

Word around camp is Black men love kool-aid… does he like kool-aid?

I love me some Obama… you know why? Cause he is fighting for all us black folk. And on this glorious day, the beginning of OUR month, we are blessed with a strong, black figure as the greatest leader in US history. So Bow down MO FO’s…

… well ok maybe he’s not the “greatest” leader in US history BUT he is the darkest so there!!!