Groin Assault!!

This is Chalie Simon. She is a 19-year-old sophomore student at the University of Colorado. Guess what Ms. Simon did to her former boyfriend (Joe Donkor) early Saturday morning during a confrontation at a campus apartment...

Simon went to Mr. Donkor's home at about 4 AM and became irate when he sought to remove her from the residence. That's when Simon allegedly "grabbed his testicles and squeezed hard," according to a police report. Donkor, 23, replied, "Yeah, it hurt a lot," when a cop asked about Simon's squeeze play. Donkor told police that he had dated Simon "on and off" during the prior 18 months, and that they had broken up "approximately 20 times." Simon was apparently angry because Donkor had not, as promised, called or sent her a text message by 3 AM (police noted that another woman was sleeping in Donkor's bedroom when they arrived).

Simon, pictured in a Boulder County Sheriff's Office mug shot, was arrested on assault, trespass, and domestic violence charges.

You women are crazy... and out of control but she is kinda cute. Is that weird?

Donovan Woods

If you are looking for some hot folksy music no one is listening to where here you go… I don’t know either. BUT the other day I was surfing some music sites and I found this guy. If you like some Damien Rice then you will like Donovan woods. He is a songwriter… Canadian… and has a kick ass man beard. Check him out, if you are disappointed I guess I really don’t care… WHY, because I like him and I think that’s all that truly matters. AND if we were both in prison I would totally protect him in the showers.

Check him out: http://www.myspace.com/donovanwoods

Ask Richard Gere's Gerbil:

Hey everyone... at least once every couple weeks Richard Gere's gerbil will be answering any questions you might have on any topic. He specializes in "Politics" and "The Art of Love Making" BUT if you need a good recipe on fried okra or when to hit in Blackjack.

“Oye mates, thank you for sending me all you questions, I love reading ‘em. Believe it or not we already have a question for the day. This question is from Sarah in Shreveport, La.”

Q: Can a regular office chair kill you?? Well I mean a human not Richard Gere’s Gerbil…

A: Bad times mate, an office chair CAN kill you in many ways but the most recent way someone has dies by an office chair was just the other day; a 14-year-old boy in China was killed when a gas cylinder chair exploded into his rectum. The extensive bleeding that followed killed him. The blast came from the highly pressurized gas which is used to raise and lower a chair.

I don’t mean to make light of the situation or question the integrity of the story but I know a guy who can fit a gas cylinder chair post in his bum and wouldn’t cry OR die about it.

Thanks again everyone, keep sending those questions and/or comments and he will get back to you.

THANKS JON!

Hell yeah... I got my first piece of hate mail and I haven't even blogged anything yet!! Jon from Dallas sent me this:

"Not to be an asshole, but your blog kinda sucks right now…"

Hey thanks Jon... or John... or Don... or whatever. Keep it up! I'm going to send you a Kiss My Man Junk windbreaker for being a great guy!!